eternaldawn

So last night, devidarkwolf and I went to North Hollywood's El Portal theater for a little thing called Standing on Ceremony, a reading of a collection of plays written in support of gay marriage. It's something I feel pretty strongly about in general, but I'll level with you, guys; Zach Quinto was going to be in this thing, and that's a good chunk of the reason I wanted to go so badly. Thanks to a whole bunch of waffling and being unsure that Zach was, in fact, going to do this (he wasn't listed on the site for a long time, and I wasn't going to blow the money if he wasn't going to do it, good cause or not), we didn't get to sit next to each other; I seriously think that when I bought these tickets, they were the VERY last two.

Okay. So yesterday was an exercise in freaking out all day long. And then we got there, and I was nervous, which is completely weird for me considering the fact that I'm usually completely chill, no matter who I might have the opportunity to run into. But for some reason, Zachary Quinto makes me retarded. Keep this in mind, it becomes important later.

There were 11 plays in total, some funny, some serious, some straight up weird. Zach was in the first one, and unfortunately, I think it was one of the ones that moved me the least; not his fault in the least, it was more that one of the women in it was terrible, and the back-and-forth of the dialogue before he was on stage was so stilted that I had no REAL idea of what was going on. But then Zach came out, for all of a minute or two, and for all of five or six lines, but he's kind of perfection, y'all. The second play was probably my favorite for a reason I can't quite put my finger on (and with bonus Peter Paige!), but with the exception of the completely cracked out lesbian-nun-vampire-Jesus play (because honestly, WHAT IN THE FUCK), every single one was fantastic in its own right. And the last one nearly brought me to tears, no lie, even though I just kept looking at Zach because WHO CAN BLAME ME, REALLY. Ultimately, even though I thought I was only going for Zach, I don't regret for a second that I went even though his part was so minimal. It was really a phenomenal evening.

And that's BEFORE I met him.

After, when I finally caught up with devidarkwolf again, I found out that she'd tracked down Zach more successfully than I'd been able to. In general, I am completely calm in the face of her spazzing out (it's a dynamic we have and it totally works for me), so when I thought I was going to have to be the one to do the initial talking, I was good. I was all set to joke around and ignore the fact that I'm having to wear glasses right now and look awful, and we kind of subtly - except I don't think we were all that subtle - circled him for awhile while he circulated and talked and was generally Zach-like and overwhelming even from afar. He is VERY INTENSE. Serious eye-contact, focus, touching people while they talk. It's like Jason Dohring times a million. I watched him for awhile, because I like watching people and I especially like watching PRETTY people, and it's kind of nice to have an idea of what's working for people and what's not in terms of approaching celebrity-types before it's your turn, so you know what route to take. Or how to be different and engaging, if you think you might have more than a split second.

The moment finally arrives where we decide we've been creepy enough in vulturing him, and we move up close. He's just saying goodbye to some friends, and kisses one girl as she goes and says he loves her, mentions when he'll be in the office again, and they go. It was really sweet. And then all my preparation for what to say gets thrown out the window, because I'm behind devidarkwolf and she talked just fine, so I really didn't get to say much of anything at first. She had the brilliant idea of having Zach hold her phone to take the picture all MySpace style, and he was completely game; in fact, whether it's true or not, Zach gives off this really strong impression that if you have something to talk to him about, he'll stand there and talk to you as long as you want. I think between the two of us we could've done that just fine, even as overwhelmed as we were, but there were other people waiting and monopolizing time is not okay. So she gets her picture... and he turns away. ALSO NOT OKAY.

This is the part where I touch Zach Quinto on the back, and he turns around and pins me with his really intense eyes. I apologize, I think, and ask if I can get a picture with him too, and he's completely gracious about it and takes the picture. What's also kind of awesome is that for either of us, he didn't just hand the phone back once he was done, he turned it around and checked the picture to make sure it was good, THEN handed it back. I got an "I love that also" from him when he saw it, and he maybe said it was nice to meet us at the end (I'm not sure, I think my brain is selectively filtering things so I don't go catatonic), and then it was done.

What follows is what can only be termed as the Zach Quinto effect. I was great before I met him, in awe of how very pulled together and calm and gracious and gorgeous he is during meeting him, and then after? I. Was. Dumb. Like, I have never felt as completely ridiculous as I did when we were walking back to devidarkwolf's car. He has the power to drop your IQ about 30 points after you've met him, once you're basking in the glow of his awesome. I'm pretty sure that on the way home (after we'd sat in her car unable to drive or do anything but go nuts), we had a conversation that was comprised entirely of "ZAAAAAAACH" over and over again. I literally nearly threw up, and I DON'T REACT LIKE THAT TO PEOPLE.

I should've written this last night, because I feel sure I missed something. In short: I want to be Zach Quinto's friend. For ever and ever, amen.

Nearly forgot: pics or it didn't happen. Sigh, I hate wearing glasses right now. But hey, you can tell I'm Italian despite the blonde; we both have big ol' noses.

Time for my life in pluses and minuses!

+ Finally, FINALLY got the okay from the CA State Board to take my test.

- Have to wait on the testing people to send me the packet so I can schedule it. Also, I may need to get my SSN card changed?! Since it doesn't have my full middle name on it, but... it never has, and I've never had a problem before. But CSBP says it has to match 'exactly', so I do not know what to make of this fuckery. I am also terrified I'm too dumb to pass this test, somehow. Even though I rocked the practice questions.

+/- Eye appointment today in an hour and a half. This is good, since I haven't been able to wear my contacts much since Vancouver, but it's also terrifying because a) I know my eyes are AWFUL, b) I don't think my insurance has kicked in (thank you, COBRA, for being SO EFFICIENT) so it will probably be expensive.

- Getting a letter from Kroger saying they think they shouldn't have paid me my last 2 week paycheck, which is epic bullshit. However, I have not been able to get hold of the lady I'm supposed to call to TELL HER it's epic bullshit, despite leaving several messages.

- Being terrified that I will run out of money.

+ Finding out how much I actually have in my 401(k) so I know that if I HAVE TO, I can pull some out and NOT run out of money before I get a job.

+ SUPERNATURAL LAST NIGHT, HOLY SHIT. I do want to say more about it (and all the other messes of TV I've watched lately), but it'll have to wait. And probably get its own separate post. And why do I always try to spell separate wrong?!

+ VANCON. Which I have also not said a word about and have probably forgotten a lot about since I waited so long to say anything about it, but I promise it was epic, I'm a little in love with AJ Buckley now, and it kind of renewed my flagging love for everything SPN.

+ AC/DC. I was kind of deaf for two days after, y'all, I am not kidding. But it was amazing. And while I did not see him thanks to my crappy eyesight at the present (not to mention my lack of observational skills), devidarkwolf says she saw AJ there. Be still my little heart.

So I thought I had things under control for my father's 9 am arrival tomorrow.

( I WAS WRONG. (Things I Neglected To Do Until Today) )

So, 7 solid things, plus whatever I'm forgetting. And what am I about to do? Well, the oil changed stuff... and then I'm going swimming, fuck responsibility! BACK LATER, YEAH.

Okay, people, I am about to be making MAJOR LIFE CHANGES (capitals necessary), and I'm feeling the need to chronicle these somewhere. And lo and behold, I have this long-dormant LJ just sitting here, waiting to be taken advantage of, and I'd be remiss if I didn't seize the opportunity. Especially since on a whim a few months back, I bought more paid time. Yeah, I don't know why either, since I hadn't used it in about a year, but... whatever, I thought it'd be motivation. And it clearly has been, because I've written SO MUCH here. Gold star for me!

I am two terrifyingly exciting days away from leaving Texas behind me. Never get me wrong, I do love Texas and all its crazy shenanigans. And it'll always be home, because I know my family will always live here. Believe me, I've worked on getting at least some of them to California, and they just laugh. Apparently, I am not cut from the same cloth they are! Or I just want to upgrade cloth. Who knows, the point is, I am alone! Kind of.

In any case, I've quit my job here, and I'm moving to Los Angeles this week. It's scary. I'm thrilled. I'll be living in Silver Lake with devidarkwolf, and y'all, I LOVE IT THERE. I'm recently worried that all my crap won't fit where I need it to (OOPS), but I've squished my crap into a smaller space with 3 other girls in a dorm room, so I think it'll be just fine. Besides, it's like... a story. And I like telling stories! I'll miss the people I know here, but to be perfectly honest, my only real constant friends for the last year have been the people I work with. Which is cool, I've hung out with them outside of work and they're amazing, but when I ALREADY have more plans to be social in LA than I've had here in the last year, practically? It's kind of saying something, I think. It doesn't hurt that devidarkwolf and I are nigh inseparable (pause while I try to figure out how the hell to spell that, thanks), I just hope she can tolerate living with me.

Once I'm there, I'll have about a month or so of complete unemployment while I take my law exam (stupid California and their lack of easy reciprocity) to get licensed. Which is cool, because I can acquaint myself with my area and do all kinds of fun stuff during my month long vacation, but it's also scary as hell because the money I have right now is all the money I WILL have, unless we get lucky and actually do some extras work. Which I'd totally love to do, if only to say I've done it! So we'll see how it goes, and I'm really not going to be worried unless it gets into October and I'm still somehow not licensed. But bless my mother's heart, she's got some money stashed back that she's willing to give me if times get a little tough. I love my family, as completely broken up and dysfunctional as they've been lately.

So that's the start of the chronicle of my adventures in LA, I guess! Starting before I'm even there, that's how on top of it I am. RIGHT. There will be a housewarming in the near future, and probably epic odes to my love for La Mill, and also talk about stuff that has nothing to do with life at all, but TV and other BSery. Because if I don't start writing this stuff down, I will forget it. And that's not okay.

Holy crap, y'all, I'm licensed. THIS IS REALLY EXCITING AND ALSO DISTRESSING. I have no idea if I should go to work tomorrow, 'cause they technically can't pay me intern pay anymore. And I'm supposed to go in at 7:30, so... y'know, it'd be cool if I knew if I DIDN'T have to go to work, haha. But I don't want to call the pharmacy, 'cause nobody there would know anyway; Neel's off today, and Angela's on vacation. And like a winner I don't have Neel's cell number, so I can't call him to ask. OOPS.

On the bright side, I'm... totally going to tell them I'm taking two weeks off starting Monday. Which works out REALLY NICELY because I'm going to Comic-Con now, agkljhadgklfja. Need to book a flight. I also need a friggin' credit card, I am spending money lately like I have some. Which I will soon, I just, haha, don't right this second.

Tons of crap to do today. I've got to run back up to north Houston and finish my apartment application (the place I'm moving is swank, y'all, 2 bed/2 bath WITH A GARAGE, a view of a lake, and more than twice the space I have now), which takes 30 minutes to drive to anyhow. Also need to put some checks in the bank so I DO have money, and for the love of Pete, I need to do my CPR certification so I can start giving shots when I start working.

I also bought a ticket to a Friday morning showing of The Dark Knight. I'm seeing it by myself 'cause I'm a winner (and because everyone I know is gone/working). Even if I DO have to stop working, I think I'll run up and gush with Neel about it. I'm going to miss that fool; he's pretty awesome. And he's a NERD. He loves Supernatural, that's enough for me, but we geek out over tons of stuff. He's a lot of fun, and he's been really cool training me. If I don't like the store I end up at right away, he actually wants me to be his partner at the Sugarland store he thinks he's going to move to in December, so I guess he thinks I'm capable. God, I hope I am.

The dreams about misfills and stuff have already started, which is terrifying. I haven't made any big mistakes while I've been training (except Monday I did make a dumb one that I'd never usually make, so I'm still beating myself up over that), so I SHOULD be okay, I'm just scared to death. I've never done any of this without someone looking over my shoulder to tell me I'm doing okay, so I'm going to be a nervous wreck the first... oh, month or so of work, I'm sure. A week, at the very least.

As long as I'm sitting here rambling, I might as well go just a little longer. My parents are divorcing, which I can only say with any calm because it's been a little less than a month since the whole thing blew up. It's a big, ugly, gross story that I'm not going to spill here because it's just one of those things that I don't really feel comfortable spilling to everyone, but suffice it to say that my father is a total douchebag and I never knew it. ...That being said, he's trying pretty hard to redeem himself to me and my sister right now, and he IS in town for a bunch of meetings, so I think I may see him tonight or tomorrow. We're talking on the phone all right now - not about anything that's going on family-wise, which is why the conversations aren't so bad - but I think it's going to be hideous and awkward when I do see him. I don't know, maybe not. He's where I learned how to avoid stuff from, so maybe we'll get along great. Who knows?

I need to start working out. And dieting. I'm in such crappy shape right now that it isn't even funny, and I keep putting it off saying that I'm stressed about one thing or another, but I'm always stressed about something, so I need to give that excuse up. It's getting on time for me to start listing out all the crap I need to do; living on a schedule has always worked pretty well for me. Especially now that I'm about to start having to pack up the mess of stuff in this apartment. 4 year's worth of stuff, and I've only got a month (and a half, but I get the new apartment August 15th) to pack it. Ugh. This is why I need the two weeks off. Also, Comic-Con. Ahaha, ha ha.

OKAY. If I don't go now, I will have zero time to get all the crap done today that needs doing. So I need to quit procrastinating, ugh.

I keep meaning to put something here, but then I end up going to bed at like, 10:30. I'm so tired, guys. I feel like I'm getting sick or something, I don't even know. I think I'm just worn out; the last few weeks have been pretty crappy, and I haven't had much of a break. Since last Tuesday, I've only really had one day off, which doesn't sound TERRIBLE until you factor in that since last Tuesday, I've taken two of the biggest tests of my life, studied like crazy during the days I wasn't actually working, and worked my ass off when I WAS working. Now I've got tomorrow off, but I don't get to sleep in - getting my hair cut at 9, and then I've got to spend the day looking at apartments so I'm not homeless come September 1st. And I'm emotional as hell right now. I know why THAT is, but it's definitely not helping matters any. I'm also terrified that I'm probably days away from being licensed, because that means I'm going to have to do all of this stuff by myself and I just... do not know how yet, it feels like. Anyway, I'm about to be late-ish, but I've been really quiet lately, and that's kind of why.

Also, I got a parking ticket last night. I friggin' hate Midtown.

Okay, so here it goes. Start to finish, for the most part, though I'm probably going to leave out niggling little details like... oh, say, panels. Mostly because I know everyone and their mom has seen the videos and stuff, so it'd open up so many doors for "But Jamie, that's not what he said!" because my memory for exact quotes is shit sometimes, I'm not gonna lie. And some of it has nothing to do with the convention, 'cause I did other stuff while up there.

( DAY 1. )
( DAY 2. )

Okay, there's a whole Sunday and JARED PADALECKI left, and I am getting to it. I just feel like I've been typing forever and wanted to post what's done so far. I'll edit. Unless it's already too long or something.

Holy post-con depression, Batman. It's baaaaad this time. And Jensen wasn't even there.

I just got home, and I've got to go to work from 2-9. Which is both awesome (I won't have time to mope!) and crappy (I have to friggin' WORK until 9). I usually don't end up reporting on cons 'cause other people tend to do a better job of it than me, but I have some stories from this one that I'll probably recount later. If people remind me. Plus a photo op with Jared and a group one to post, if I feel up to it. I'm motivated NOW, I can't promise I'll even be awake when I roll in after work. Ugh, screw work.

Teaser: I did something this weekend that I am probably retarded for doing, and it yielded kind of surprising results. Ha. OKAY NOW MUST GET CHANGED AND LOOK PRESENTABLE.

What Jamie has been up to, the Cliffs Notes version:

1. Not answering comments. Oops. So thanks, y'all, for the congratulations on the LAST cliffs notes post!
2. Working. And I am already tired of it, WTF.
3. Scheduling my NAPLEX and MPJE for July 1st and 2nd. I am now freaking out hardcore because I have not studied AT. ALL. I may have to get Neel to knock me down on my hours or something, because I am dumb as hell and will not pass these if I do not get my ass in gear.
4. Questioning my logic of scheduling those exams, because on the 3rd I have an 8 hour long immunizations class to take, and I will be braindead by the end of the week. I should've gone into something easy, like being a janitor.
5. I have to work today, what is this madness. 10-5, ugh. It's sad when I'm just one week into training and I'm wondering if I can find a job I might not dread going to. Except that's unfair, because this store is SO SLOW (I'm talking 120 prescriptions on a hoppin' day, and they're open 12 hours a day), and I honestly don't have much to DO. I think I'm taking my NAPLEX book today, and if Neel doesn't like it, tough. I could be doing something productive instead of standing there waiting for somebody to show up, especially because there will be no doctor calls and probably very few new prescriptions today.
6. Wanting my 2 months of doing nothing back. SOMEONE FIND ME SOMEBODY RICH.

Ugh, so tired. Graduations should not be allowed to be at 9 am. However, I'm Dr. eternaldawn now, which is pretty damn awesome. :D The parents are here and dad is watching the NASCAR race (yeah, we're kind of THAT FAMILY), but I just kinda wanted to bop in and actually put something down for posterity.

...Aaaand I just taught my mother how to put music on iTunes, because she bought a Shuffle and doesn't know what to do with it. Oh man, she tries. XD

I was kind of set to come in here and be depressed, because I think I'm having another one of those little weeks where all I do is sleep and think I suck, but lo and behold, today was actually kind of entertaining. So you're spared the emo in favor of what happened today, because it's just amusing enough that I want to keep it for posterity.

So Jon and I have been playing tennis lately. A lot of tennis, except we've been slacking since last Thursday. Today was the first day we'd played since then, and boy, did we suck. So while we'd normally play a couple of hours and be bone tired by the time we were done, we played maybe 45 minutes and got fed up with our massive suck. We get to the car, and all of a sudden Jon makes with the "Oh, shit."

Yeah, it's never good.

His keys were in the car, along with both of our cell phones. Hi, stranded. We weigh our options, and decide our only real option is to walk to his apartment. Which (as we found out later) is 3 miles away. So, dressed like scrubs, we make our way back through what's at least mostly nice neighborhoods, but some super-ghetto ones, too. And you've never felt homeless until you've walked under 610 near our places, seriously. We get to Jon's apartment, and of course, have no keys. So we break into his place, since he'd at least left the window open and we just had to muscle the screen out. We found out we'd be terrible robbers, by the way.

We commence calling everyone we know to give us a ride back to the courts, because by this time it's noon and about 90 degrees outside. Of course, nobody answers. So we walk to my apartment (which is thankfully literally around the corner and down the street a little ways), and I have to sweet talk the guy in the office into opening my apartment for me. As I'm dressed like a homeless woman, by the way, and this guy is very cute and put together. Figures. ANYWAY, he refuses Jon as collateral and decides to just walk to my apartment with us, which is a terrible idea because my apartment is a hot mess and no one can come in. I tell him and he laughs, and says he'll just open it and leave, since I look trustworthy. Yeah, trustworthy and sweaty and homeless. Ugh.

But! Finally, keys! We go back to Jon's and get my car, and then finally get to his car and the ordeal is over. It took about four hours, between actually playing and getting back so Jon could get into his car, geez. But hey, it was an urban adventure or something. And I totally made up for half-assing the tennis thing, because we probably, all told, walked almost 4 miles today. Which is a lot, when I'm not used to walking. And it's 90 degrees.

I've only been sitting still for a little while, and I'm already realizing I'm going to be so, so sore later.

NOTE TO SELF: Buy this week's TV Guide, because HOLY SHIT, Jared Padalecki.

Ugh, so for whatever reason, my ticket order for this weekend didn't get processed and now we have to get tickets at the door. Thanks, Creation!

On the plus side, I'm packed and ready already, and I've got about 45 minutes before I have to go try to fight my way up I-45 to the airport. This is a great improvement over my usual 'OMFG MUST BE OUT THE DOOR FIVE MINUTES AGO AND AM NOT READY' travel.

Sooo... I just watched the first three episodes of Clone High, and I think I'm going to end up watching them all in one weekend. I'm starting to think I have an addictive personality. Have y'all watched it? If not, YOU SHOULD.

"When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make SUPER LEMONS."

( EDITED FOR JENSEN, asdfljkhla. )

Why did I ever think spring cleaning was a good idea?! YOU GUYS, I AM DROWNING IN FILTH. ...And I'm not even halfway through my room.

I guess a better question is: Why did I never think to spring clean in the OTHER three springs I've been in this apartment? Good Lord.

Edit: WHY IS MY WASHER MAKING UNHOLY NOISES. Whaaat, the day I want to wash EVERYTHING EVER is the day the basket comes off of its track... thingies. Guuuuys, is this an easy fix, or do I have to get someone who knows what they're doing to fix it? UGH, D::::::::::::CLEANING.

EDIT EDIT: Haha, father to the rescue. Am going to try a smaller load and see if it still does it; apparently this happened to my sister about a week ago, and it's because we're retards (my words, not dad's) who try to wash too much at once and it all gets bunched on one side and throws the balance off. IT SOUNDED LIKE MY WASHER WANTED TO RUN AWAY, GUYS. So once this load is dry, I am going to be brave and try again. Blah, continuing saga.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS HE WEARING.

( Shamelessly linked from where somebody uploaded it. )

So I guess optional turned into "I hope you haven't forgotten about the manager's meeting at 6:30" yesterday, with this very expectant look that pretty well said 'you had better be there at 6:30'. The food was fantastic, and flirting with the waiter (...shut up, I'm shameless) meant we got our dessert first and wine whenever my glass was so much as half empty, but once 8 rolled around, I was acutely aware of missing my show. Pathetic? Yeah, probably. But I was on hour 11 of my work day at that point, I think I was allowed.

Everybody said this rotation was a cakewalk, and I don't know what rotation THEY were on, but my preceptor is riding my ass like crazy. "Most days I'll come by around 3:30 or 4 and if you're not busy, I'll tell you to just go home" has turned into us not seeing her at all most of the day, and then at 5 we leave, because she told us that if we haven't seen her by then, we can go. I have not been home before 5 this week, and Tuesday was a 10 hour day, and yesterday was 12. Today, I'm going to be spending the afternoon by myself because the other girl on my rotation has to go to seminar, so that's four and a half hours I'm going to be mindlessly bored. Unless I get to go home early, which I doubt.

I guess I shouldn't complain, but my last rotation let me out at 1 at the latest most days, so I got spoiled. It'd be different if I was BUSY on this rotation, but I'm really not. We're supposed to review 15 charts a day, and it takes about 20 minutes to review a chart if it's eligible. So in theory, that's 5 hours of work... except the charts aren't always there, and some of them aren't eligible, so they take 30 seconds. I think I reviewed 20 yesterday, and I STILL had a ton of downtime.

How long does iTunes usually take to get new episodes up? If I could download it at lunch, that'd be AWESOME. I could probably watch it twice during the afternoon. >.>

EDIT: CURSE YOU, ITUNES. It's up now, but it's downloading too slow for me to get it on my iPod in time to go back to work. At least I still have charts to do, ugh.

I need suggestions on stuff I can do at work, guys, because this rotation is going to kill me. It's actually a pretty good one to end with (provided I actually, y'know, try to study for the NAPLEX at some point), but since I hate studying, I probably won't. Which leaves me with at LEAST 4 hours of nothing to do, since I think I can fill the other 4 with SOMETHING.

I have internet access and more or less free reign to do what I want, but my back is to the rest of the office and I really don't want my preceptor walking up behind me to find me like... playing Neopets or something, haha. Plus, there's a girl on this rotation with me, so I can't do anything too outwardly deviant. NOT THAT I WOULD AT WORK.

Also trying to not miss SPN tomorrow, but I may have to if I can't think of a way to tell my preceptor I really don't want to go to this optional dinner thing. On the one hand, it's a completely free meal at a decent place in town... on the other, it's the last SPN 'til the end of April. MY LIFE. I schedule around TV. D:

I'm seriously tired and I need a nap, but there's finally something I want to write about. So I figured I should do that before I lost the drive to. It's not even about me, really.

I had a message on my phone when I checked it after work today. It was my mom, which is no big surprise to some of you, I'm sure, and for those of you who don't know - I talk to my mom every single day, sometimes more than once. I don't call my friends just to talk; I call my mother. If you lined up every person I've ever met that's of age to be my mother and asked me to pick one, I'd just pick her again. I'm lucky to have that, I know.

Anyway, so I have this message on my phone. "Hey, baby," it says. My mom's always so perky and sing-song in her messages. "I know you're busy this morning, but I just wanted to call and tell you that today's the 20th anniversary of my surgery. I wanted to share that with you. Call me later!"

See, my mom had breast cancer when I was 5 and my little sister was 2. She was really young, she's just going to be 51 this year. I can at least say that it's a humorous story, the way they found out, and I promise y'all that my mom probably wants me telling this story, because she's not ashamed of it, she tells people, too. She was running around her room naked (...like she does), and my dad made some joke about how she was going to start sagging without a bra, and reached out and gave her a honk. And felt something. And this, my friends, is why my mother advocates fooling around. Not really, but she'd always send me out the door with a cheerful "Remember, it's not a date unless he grabs your boobs!". Yeeeah, this is my family. And for the record, very, VERY few of my dates have ever ended up as "dates". ANYWAY.

It's weird, though, because she went through this huge ordeal and I don't remember any of it. I only found out a couple of years ago when she was giving a talk to my class during Breast Cancer Awareness month (for which she was totally medicated, my poor mom isn't so much a public speaker) that all these trips we made to Darian Lake were because she was going to chemo up in Buffalo. And if you wonder why I never wondered why she wasn't with us when we went to the amusement park, it's because she was always with us. My mom is insane, I swear. Chemo drugs can wreck you at the same time they're trying to save your life, because the side effects are ridiculous. But my mom pretty much refused any and all meds to help cope with the side effects, because she didn't want us to think anything was wrong. And even though she was tired as hell and just wanted to go throw up everything she ever ate, she was always right there. She has to be the strongest person I've ever known.

So here we are now, and it's twenty years later, and the worst thing wrong with her is that she's got high blood pressure and cholesterol. We're lucky. And I'm this crying, thankful mess right now because my mom could call me just to tell me it's been twenty years.

Wow, my paid account expires today. It's just habit to renew it, but I haven't been using this much at all lately, so it's a little harder to justify. That said, it's kind of a drop in the bucket over the course of a year, and I am kind of attached to LJ for the long term, soo... I'll probably end up renewing it. With yet another promise that yes, I'll start updating again, because there are a lot of you that I've lost touch with in the last little while. This sounds familiar, doesn't it? I post one of these just about every time my account comes up due.

But I think it's time for a nearly complete revamp. I'll probably look at cleaning out my friends list, evaluating the icon situation (because it's so VERY important, you know), trying to wrangle up some new friend types because cleaning things out will probably leave me with two of y'all. You know how it goes. Once at least some of that is in order, I'll probably have a gigantic 'this is my sad little life' post for you to read/skim/skip, and then the finger crossing will start that I actually, you know, update more often.

I don't even know how many of you are still around, so if you read this, drop a comment. It'll help with the housecleaning part of all of it, and at the very least, I'll get to say hey to some of you.

Pictures do not do the red 2007 Mitsubishi Eclipses justice.

I know, because I now own one.

adfljkhlkjhla!!

I'll try to take pictures tomorrow, and maybe update substantially sometime soon. BUT OMG PEOPLE, NEW CAR. IT IS SEX ON WHEELS.